raisinology

Matilda saw The Fresh Prince of Bel Air

starring Will Prince on tv.  She said, "Don't look like a prince."

If Lovin' Cake is Wrong, I Don't Wanna' Be Right!

Recently I've been gaining a little bit of girth around the middle.  I know why this is.  Every day around 4PM I hear it, at first faint, but then it grows louder -- the siren song of the  Vegan Treats sold at Atlas Cafe.  Some days I can resist, but on others the magnetic pull is too strong.  These cakes are just ridiculously good.  I know, I know, vegan treats are supposed to be terrible, but these are even better than the butter/white sugar variety.  My personal favorites are the coconut cake (vanilla cake with vanilla "butter"cream frosting slathered in coconut), the oreo cake (chocolate cake with oreo crumb frosting), and the german chocolate cake (chocolate cake, chocolate icing, coconut).  They all feature stellar cake: not too dense, not too late, giving perfect resistance and give to the fork.  My mouth is watering just writing this! 

Did You Ever...

Experience a sudden appreciation for something that you thought you didn't like?  This has happened to me recently with Patti Smith.

I never "got" her in the past.  She was someone that I always "respected" in the sense that I respect that many people with good taste thought she was a fantastic musician.  But only recently did I feel blown away by listening to her. 

I wonder what accounts for my sudden shift?  Maybe my tastes have matured over time?  I don't know the answer, but I can tell you, if you've never listened to Horses, or if, like me, you didn't get it the first few go arounds, give it another try.  She is amazing...and the album captures what I imagine it must have been like to be part of the art/punk/literary scene of NYC in the 1970s.  An incredible imaginary time capsule.

Maybe some day I'll experience a similar sudden appreciation for other critically acclaimed people/things including: Bob Dylan, Bruce Springsteen, caviar, and foie gras.

Long Time No Post

But just a few of T's bon mots to start things up again:

*"I'm so hot!  My eyes are sweating!"
(she was trying to wrangle an ice pop at 10am)

*"Happy Face.  Happy Face.  Go away your tears.  Happy Face.  Happy Face.  Go away your tears."
(the song she sings to cheer up Charlie)

"Belle and the Beauty Beast"
(her new and improved title for Beauty and the Beast)

"Which tooth is my sweet tooth?"

I absolutely love her 4.5 year old mind.  She cracks me up!

Mean Thought of the Day

I was walking down the street, the only one on the sidewalk other than a crazy, exceptionally dirty homeless guy slumped against the side of a building.  As I passed by him he yelled, "You've got a FAT ASS!"  I couldn't help but think, "Yeah?  Maybe so!  But at least I have a home and a family to go home to!"

This is So Truly and Deeply Weird

Dick Cheney talking about why we should not invade Iraq -- in 1994.

Lovely Music for a Lovely Summer Day

David Byrne compiles a monthly playlist on his radio website.  This month he's exploring opera -- a musical genre that he admits he doesn't know much about, and neither do I, but these choices are well-known and familiar selections that make me feel beautiful and well-heeled.  Listening to them, I can pretend I'm lounging on a deck chair in Nantucket, gin and tonic in hand, rather than toiling away at my cramped desk in the E. Village.

a new meaning to the term White Stripes

a lesson I learned recently: don't forget to reapply sunscreen after your child "helps" you put it on your legs.  I now have an extremely weird half-tan/burn/pale pattern on my legs.

It's Been a Hard Day's Night

My family has been in a bit of a co-sleeping conundrum recently.  Baby C loves co-sleeping, and he's been in our bed since last winter when he came down with a cold and I couldn't bear leaving him in the bassinet because I felt like our bedroom was too cold and drafty.  Lately C has been cutting molars and needs a lot of nursing, all night long.  In this regard, having him in the bed with me is much better for me and C because we can easily nurse and both get back to sleep without too much disruption.  Lately, T comes in the bed in the middle of the night most nights(even though she used to sleep the whole night through in her own bed -- after some harrowing sleep training) and I let her come in the bed because, frankly, it's just easier than getting out of bed and getting her back into her own room.  There are pros and cons to this co-sleeping thing.  Here are the cons:

1. My husband doesn't like it, he wants the bed to be for us -- understandably -- and also feels like he has hardly enough room when both kids and me are in it. 

2. My husband and I have virtually no alone time. 

3. I have to stay in the bed starting at 8PM because I have to make sure that Charlie doesn't roll or try to crawl off the side of the bed.

4. Charlie's naps happen in the sling, or carseat.  We've started putting him down in his crib but his naps aren't as long there.

Pros:

1. I really like snuggling with my kids while they are sleeping.  I also like watching them sleep.  It's rare to be able to look at them holding still like that at any other time and there is nothing more beautiful than your own sleeping child.

2. I don't have to get out of bed to nurse Charlie in the night.  Therefore, it's a lot easier for me to get back to sleep.

3. Charlie will only be a baby for a little while longer.  And I'm not going to have any more kids.  Soon he will be a bigger boy, and then I'm sure I can get him and Tilda to share a room and snuggle with eachother, freeing up our bed.

4. Same goes for Tilda -- I do believe that at a certain age she won't want to snuggle in bed with me anymore, and since I'm at work all week, I like having what time I can get with her.

There are many, many theories about sleeping in the same bed as your kids -- I love this article from BrainChild Magazine that expresses my sentiments exactly. But I think if my husband wasn't upset about this arrangement, I would just sigh and happily give in to having two tiny nighttime snugglers surround me like kittens, and I'm the mama cat.  In fact, that's one of the things that I enjoy about parenting (and enjoyed about being pregnant) the primal, instinctual qualities of it all.  In the end, it just feels right to me to have my kids sleep by my side, but it doesn't feel right to upset my husband.  I'll let you know if we come up with any good solutions.  If any of you have any good solutions -- please let me know!

Scared...

So my husband is going away for the weekend and I'll be on my own with the kids.  Yes, I know, I'm a big lame-o.  Tons of Moms are basically the sole parent for their kids all of the time, and there are tons of single parents out there, but I'm not accustomed to being alone with my 2 children.  I had a day alone with them last Friday and I started out scared, and then ended up having a really nice day.

This particular fear of being alone with my kids is compounded by my feelings of inadequacy as a Mom. John is the primary caregiver -- being a stay at home dad and all -- and has the confidence that comes with the territory.  I also sometimes feel like I don't know what I'm doing with the kids, and that all of my other Mom friends are better Moms than me.  When I feel like this, I end up wishing I could just fast-forward to a time when they are more self-sufficient, yet not sullen teenagers -- like ages 8 or 9.

Yes.  I admit it.  I'm panicking.  And the fact that Matilda has not been having a good week, temper-wise, isn't helping.  Plus the fact that certain people have been around lately who have criticized my parenting in the past makes me feel extra self-conscious and hard on myself.

The saving grace is that we're all going down to LBI for the weekend, and then to Spring Lake for the rest of the week.  I will have extended family and friends around for the weekend to help me along.

Wish me luck!